The Hardest Thing
by GarciafanGirl21
Summary: Derek is determined to tell Penelope how he really feels about her-but then he finds out she accepted a job that won't let her date anyone. Outside or inside the FBI. Will he tell her how he feels? Or will he let her enjoy this new job?
1. Chapter 1

**Got this idea when I was listening to the song: 'The Hardest Thing' by 98 Degrees. Read it up. :D**

She meant the world to him. She made him feel like no other woman could, by just a smile and just a glance. She made him feel alive, like he was on top of the world.

Her and Kevin had broken up about two weeks before, and he couldn't be happier about that. Pen was the one who called it the quits.

"I couldn't stay with him anymore-he's too controlling." Pen had told him yesterday, at a staff meeting.

Ever since then, Derek couldn't stop thinking about what it would it be like if they were together. If she lived with him, and how he wouldn't have to live a lie anymore.

He had been in love with her since day one. But he knew it was wrong to have those feelings for her. So he covered them up. He slept with countless women to try to feel the void.

And it wasn't working anymore.

No matter how much alcohol he consumed, no matter how many women he had sex with, it didn't help with loving Penelope.

He walked into her office, determined to tell her how he felt.

"Can you believe it JJ?" Pen was saying. "I can't believe Strauss is so willing to get me such a high praised job."

"I'm happy for you Pen. Really." JJ said.

Derek entered the room and said: 'You got a promotion?"

Pen nodded happily. "I'll be the head of the entire computer department. The Tech Kitten here, will be in charge of the entire floor."

JJ's phone rang about then, and she went into the hall to answer it, leaving Pen and Derek alone.

Pen twirled around in her chair. "I'm so excited Hot Stuff! I've never had such a high position before!"

"I'm sure you'll be the best boss that the floor has ever had Baby Girl."

"Tell me about it, my prince. What brings you to my lair anyways?"

"I wanted to talk to you, about some things."

"What's going through that handsome head of yours?"

"You and Kevin are officially over right? No going back?"

"Why would I want to ever go back to Kevin Lynch? He's so immature. Besides, I couldn't if I wanted to."

"What? Why?"

"My new job won't let me date anyone inside the FBI. As for anyone in the outside world, I have to wait at least three years before that's allowed."

It hit him like a wall of bricks. She couldn't date him. She couldn't love him.

He was upset. But he wouldn't take this opportunity away from her. She wanted it too much. And she deserved it. All of it.

"Well I better go. Tons of paperwork."

Derek turned to leave, and Pen said: "I thought you wanted to talk to me about some things, Hot Stuff."

"We did talk." he said coldly. Not wanting to show her his pain.

She seemed taken aback from his tone. "Did I saw something wrong Derek?"

"No Penelope. You didn't." he said and left her office.

She stared after him, wondering what in the world was wrong with him. And she was also trying to hold back her tears. He had never spoken to that way before. Ever. Not even when Tamara Barnes came into the picture.

**Like it? Hate it? Lemme know! Reviews Please! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yes, I know the '3 years and no dating thing' is crazy. You'll figure it out in the later chapters on why it's three years and why it's such a strong sentence.**

Two whole days had passed, since he left her office in such a hurry and yet she was still dwelling on it, as she twirled her fluffy pen around in her hand.

She had went over their conversation mentally, at least 50 times. She hadn't said anything wrong, hadn't used the wrong tones with him. So what was wrong with Derek?

When he would see her coming he would turn and go the other way. It was almost as if he was avoiding her. And she couldn't figure out why. So she went to see Reid. Hoping he would have heard something.

Whenever Derek had a problem, he went to Reid. Even over girl troubles, although he knew he couldn't really help him out in that department.

Pen walked over to Reid's cubicle, and said:

"Hey Genius Boy! How's it going?"

"Pretty good." Reid answered carefully. He wasn't sure why Pen would be talking to him. Normally she was on her computers in her office.

"Can I ask you something Reid? About Derek?"

Realization washed across his facial features, when he realized what she was going to ask. And Derek had already told him not to tell her.

Derek didn't want to take away her brand new job. She cared about it way too much.

*_FLASHBACK*_

Derek quickly walked into Reid's cubicle. Stunned by the fact that Pen would accept such a high praised and paying job. Didn't she like her job as a FBI Day Analyst?

"What can I do for you Derek?" Reid asked, without turning around. He was reading a book on the language of Latin, and was skimming across the pages so quickly, it was hard for Derek to even believe he was reading that and paying attention to him at the same time.

"Did you know Penelope accepted a management job?" Derek asked.

"Yes. She found out yesterday, and called Hotch while I was visiting him in his office."

"Did you know she can't date anyone inside or outside the FBI for three years?"

"Didn't she break up with Lynch? Why should it matter?"

"This doesn't leave here. Understand?"

Reid solemnly nodded his head and Derek went on to say:"I wanted to date her. I wanted to be with her. That's why I was in her office yesterday. I was going to tell her."

"So why didn't you?"

"She seemed so happy. Happier than I've seen her in ages, because of this new job. I can't take that away from her."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to try and forget her. There's no way I can mess this new job up for her."

"I don't blame you Derek. But is it really 3 whole years?"

"That's what Pen said. Why?"

"Because most FBI workers can date after a year and six months."

"Well maybe Strauss just expects more of Pen."

"Yeah maybe." Derek said.

But was something off about the whole thing. Derek thought.

*_PRESENT TIME*_

"What about Derek?" Reid asked.

"Why is he acting so funny?"

"What do you mean by funny?"

"He's avoiding me! I can't figure it out!"

As much as he didn't want to lie to her, he didn't want to go against Derek's wishes.

"I don't know Pen. Why don't you ask him yourself? He's in his office."

Pen turned around to see Derek working on some paperwork in his office, and knew they had to talk. Something was wrong with him and she needed to know what.

And before he noticed she was coming, she was already at his office door.

"Open the door Derek! We need to talk!"

**Please Review! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope everyone likes this chapter. It came to me in my English class and I got in trouble for scribbling down bits and pieces of the chapter in my notebook. Haha. And since it was so dramatic I made the flashback all romantic. Hope you enjoy! :D**

"Come in." he called out, still not knowing it was Penelope on the other side of the door.

She opened the door and walked in. He felt his breath catch in his throat as soon as he saw her. He knew why she wanted to talk to him.

She wanted to know why he had been acting differently-and he wasn't sure how to tell her. You couldn't just tell your best friend that you were in love with them when they were going to take a job that wouldn't let them date anyone.

"Derek, can we talk?" Penelope asked.

He just nodded, not verbally speaking. He wasn't even sure if he could talk, because as usual she had made him lose his train of thought.

"What's up?" she simply asked. She didn't want to dive right into why she was here, just beat around the bush for a bit, until she could get him to talk to her about what all of this was about.

He took a deep breath. What was he supposed to say to her anymore?

"Nothing much Pen. Just the usual."

"Are you sure? You've been acting out of the ordinary lately."

He nodded. He didn't want to tell her how he felt anymore. What was the point? She wanted the job.

"Well if you ever want to tell me why you know were I'll be."

"Wait Pen!" he said, realizing he had hurt her.

She had stood up and was walking towards the door, and she turned back around to face him.

"Yeah?" she asked, and he could almost sense a hint of coldness in her voice.

*_FLASHBACK*_

_5 months earlier…_

He walked up to her apartment door nervous as ever. She had invited him over for a movie night. He never could understand why any other girl he was fine with it, but when it came to Pen, his palms started to sweat and his heart raced.

He knocked on the door and when opened she the door, she took his breath away almost immediately.

She was wearing a blood red dress, and her red curls were pinned on the top of her head with butterfly shaped hairclips.

"Hey Derek." Pen said, while smiling at him.

"Hey Baby Girl." he said, a little breathless and definitely nervous.

It was nerve-wracking to be around or near her, in Derek's opinion. But he was glad for this night.

They sat side by side on Pen's couch, her snuggled up against his chest as they watched the movie: 'Valentine's Day'.

Occasionally Pen would lean her head back, some of her red curls falling out of the pins as she did it, and ask him a question about the movie.

Once the movie was over, they still sat on her couch, eating the popcorn they hadn't ate during the movie and flirting a bit with each other.

"That was such a sweet movie. I wish real life romance could work out that way."

"It would be nice." Derek said.

And in truth, he knew exactly what she was referring to. Her and Kevin's relationship was on the rocks and she didn't want it to be.

She cared about him, she wasn't in love with him, but she still cared.

"So Sugar Shack, you're a fan of romance huh? Wish you would've told me that sooner. I could have taken you to the movies all the those times instead of Kevin. They were romances and he always threw a fit on having to watch them."

"Well Red Delicious, I don't mind watching anything with you."

She smiled at him and kissed his cheek, making his heart skip a beat.

*_Present*_

He sighed. He deserved her coldness. He owed her an explanation.

"Pen, have you ever cared about someone so much you wouldn't let anyone or anything come in the way of that person's happiness?"

Her expression seemed to soften a bit when she answered him: "Only Once."

"That's kinda what I'm getting at here."

"Derek if your trying to tell me something, just say it!"

"I'm in love with you, okay Penelope?" he close to yelled.

**Please Review! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope you enjoy! :D**

He was in love with her? How was that even possible? He was handsome, the kind of man that every woman wanted to be with.

And he was in love with her? The average sized woman, who wore bright colored clothes and tried to be unique as much as possible?

"What?" she whispered as he walked closer to her.

"I'm in love with you. I always have been. But there has always been something in the way."

"Kevin." she guessed.

"Yes, him. And other things that kept me from telling you."

She smiled at him. "I'm in love with you too."

"I'm glad.. But I'll have you know, you are not giving up this job for me. If you want it, your gonna work it. Understand?"

She sighed. "I understand. But I want you more than some job."

He had to force himself not to grin about that. His dream woman wanted him.

"Are you sure? I want you to be sure before you make a decision."

"Hot Stuff, I'm always sure of anything referring to you."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "How long have you been in love with me exactly?"

"Since the day we met."

"Really? Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I wanted to. But I figured you were would the kind of girl who would prefer to be friends first, then move on to other things."

"But along came Kevin Lynch."

"Exactly."

Kevin was standing outside Derek's office , listening to every word Derek and Penelope were saying.

_So I was just a terrible person that came along and kept them apart? Is that all Penny really thinks of me?_ Kevin thought angrily.

He turned and made his way to Penelope's office, nearly tearing the door off the wall he opened it with such a force.

He went straight to her computer, logged onto her email on the password she had given him months before, and had obviously forgotten to change.

And in the email he wrote:

_Attention people of the FBI! Attention!_

_Derek Morgan and I, Penelope Garcia have decided to proceed in a romantic relationship. We know that we're not allowed to date other employees, but at this point we obviously don't care._

_Erin Strauss, Aaron Hotchner, go ahead and try to tear us apart. We're not afraid of you._

Smiling to himself, he sent out the mass email and got back down to his own floor. Knowing how much trouble they would be in.

************The Hardest Thing**************

Penelope and Derek were walking back to Pen's office, laughing and talking all the way.

"Your such a flatterer Hot Stuff. You've got skill at winning a girl over."

He grinned. "I have skills beautiful? You have skills. You're the one who kept me totally head over heels for you all these years."

She just rolled her eyes and said:

"I'm still having a hard time believing you care about me that much and never told me."

He shrugged. "You know now."

As soon as those words were out of Derek's mouth, Hotch rushed out of his office yelling their names:

"Penelope! Derek!"

_Uh-oh. _Derek thought, quickly letting go of Pen's hand.

**Please Review! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hope you Enjoy! :D**

They knew they were in trouble from the anger that was blazing in Hotch's eyes. Derek had never seen him that upset. Ever.

He was mentally trying to figure out if he had done anything wrong when Hotch barked:

"In my office NOW!"

All of the other agents had turned to watch with a bit of amusement on their faces as Derek and Pen made their way into Hotch's office.

As soon as the door was closed Hotch whirled around to look at them.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Derek asked.

Hotch held out the paper, an email with Pen's email address on it.

"I didn't send out a mass email of that sort." she stammered.

Hotch looked at her unbelievably. "This is your email address Penelope."

"I know that! I was in Derek's office the whole time though! We were just…talking."

"Hotch the cameras can prove it." Derek piped up.

"I know that Derek. But if you don't get in trouble for the mass email, your going to get in trouble for dating."

Pen didn't even question how he knew. He was a profiler.

"Kevin knew my password." Pen said flatly.

"Why did he know that?" Derek asked.

"When we were together he always insisted on reading my emails. I gave him the password. I forgot to change it when we broke up."

"I can't believe this!" Derek exploded. "He was eavesdropping on us!"

"I'll get a hold of the camera people so we can prove it." Hotch said.

He left then, leaving Pen and Derek alone.

"I can't believe he would do this."

"What did you expect him to do when he had the password?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just so embarrassed! Strauss is going to read this! And Emily, Reid and JJ…" her voice trailed off.

He hugged her. "Need to know Pen, everything will be all right. I'll make sure Kevin gets what's coming for him."

"Promise me something."

"Anything, Baby Girl."

"No matter what happens you won't get into a fight with Kevin."

He wasn't sure if he could promise that. After all he had done to Penelope. When he didn't answer her she said:"Derek you know how much I hate violence, no matter if they deserve it or not."

"All right. I'll really try Red Delicious. But you know I am when I lose my temper."

"I know, I know. Sometimes I could quite literally kill Kevin for his horrible decisions too."

Hotch came back into his office then, a look on his face Derek couldn't quite read.

"Somebody hacked the system. All the cameras were down when Kevin would have went into your office."

He was good. He had a well thought out plan.

"Hotch we gotta make him crack and tell us the truth."

"I know and we will." He turned to Penelope. "As much as I hate to say this, Strauss wants to see Penelope only in her office."

Kevin Lynch, who was standing in the hallway outside Hotch's office snickered as he walked off.

Nobody could make him tell the truth. Not even Derek Morgan.

**Please Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Everybody! I finally make my return! I apologize for the wait, but between high school and writer's block I haven't had the time to write! Hope you enjoy! :D**

Kevin Lynch sat in his cubicle, a slight smile on his face. Either Pen was going to jail or Derek was losing his job. Pen couldn't be fired from the FBI on account of the things she had seen and hacked.

Derek Morgan made his way to where he knew Kevin would be. His cubicle. He had sent Pen to Staruss to talk with her, so she wouldn't get anymore upset than she already was.

"Kevin!" Derek's voice boomed as he walked around the corner. The agents who had been standing around moved out of Derek's way in fear he would explode in anger.

"Yes, Derek?" Kevin asked innocently, as Derek entered his cubicle.

Derek was shaking he was trying not so hard not to snap his neck. Where Kevin placed his hands of his desk, the way he was looking at him for crying out loud, screamed guilty.

But they couldn't get him on his behavior. He either had to admit to what he had done, or submit to a lying detector test.

But with that smug look on his face, he probably wouldn't live to do either.

"Why?" Derek growled.

"Why what? Is something wrong Derek?"

"You know exactly what is wrong Kevin."

"Nope. Sorry, afraid I don't. Now if we're done here.." he tried to stand up but Derek shoved him down in his seat.

"Sit down Lynch. You ain't going nowhere."

Kevin rolled his eyes, but didn't say or do anything.

"How'd you do all this?"

"Do what?"

"Get all of the cameras turned off! Hacking into Pen's system! Do you think I'm stupid enough not to know it was you?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Kevin asked, a smug smile on his face.

Derek pulled him up out of his chair by the collar of his shirt. "I'm warning you Lynch. The last person you want to mess with is Pen."

"What exactly are you going to do to me Derek? Hold me by the shirt collar until I burst into tears and admit to the 'crime' your alleging me to have committed? That's not gonna happen."

"Oh it will happen. Your behavior is all over the place."

Kevin didn't even answer him. He just glared back into his eyes. After about a minute of glaring at the another Kevin said:

"Penny belongs with me."

"No she doesn't. Believe me. She doesn't love you anymore."

Derek was on his way to making Kevin crack. His facial features were showing his emotions as his thoughts crossed his mind on how he was going to say his words. One wrong thing and Derek could prove it was him.

"You think she belongs with you? I doubt that. Have you forgotten Tamara Barnes?"

Derek almost winced out loud at the sound of Tamara's name.

"I broke up with her months ago."

"For my girlfriend?"

"She's not your girlfriend anymore. Remember? Do I need to remind you?"

"She won't be your girlfriend either Derek. Not when Strauss gets wind of this."

"You mean the mass email that YOU sent out?"

"Yes." Kevin said. "That email Derek."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Penelope heading towards Kevin's cubicle so he backed a few steps away from him. He had promised no violence and he was keeping that promise.

"You will pay for this Kevin."

He smirked. "Good luck proving it."

"I just did." Derek said, holding up his cell phone that he had in his back pocket. Their entire conversation on it.

Color drained from Kevin's face. That recording had him admitting to motive and saying Yes about the email.

Derek Morgan had won. One battle over, one more to go.

The only problem left was Erin Strauss.

**Please Review! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Read it up! Here comes my HEA! :D**

Derek walked quickly out of Kevin's office, not because he was afraid of what the wimp would do, because he wanted to get to Strauss right away. He wanted her to know exactly what Kevin had done and thought he would get away with.

Penelope caught up with him. "You did really good back there Hot Stuff. You got a confession."

"Yeah I did."

"What's wrong, then? We got him to confess! He's gonna get fired for what he did!"

"When he mentioned Tamara Barnes.." Derek didn't finish because he saw Pen's expression change. She hated talking about her too. She had practically tore them apart.

"We never did clear the air about that, did we Derek?"

He only shook his head before saying: "You know I never meant to hurt you."

"I know you didn't. And in a way I understand."

"What?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you with Kevin, but I still did unintentionally."

They stopped then, they were right outside Strauss's office. Strauss had her back turned to the door.

"How about we just start over?" Derek asked. "After this, we'll forget about Kevin. About Tamara, we'll be the way we were before."

Pen just smiled. "I'd really like that Derek."

He looked inside the door then, knocked and then entered.

"Strauss." Derek said not entering the office all the way.

She turned to face him. You could almost see her ice cold heart ranging through her eyes. She actually didn't believe Penelope's pleas earlier? She almost seemed by her behavior she was in favor of terminating one of them.

"SSA Morgan." she said flatly.

"I have Lynch's confession." he said. He pulled out his phone and pressed play.

She listened to the conversation but her expression remained the same.

"You seem quite defensive of Penelope."

"Yes."

Even Derek could see how much she hated to say the words she was required to say.

"With this confession everything previously against you is dropped."

"Thank You." Derek said.

"But if you two choose to have a romantic relationship clear it with Aaron Hotchner. I want absolutely nothing to do with approving it."

"What about Pen's job?" Derek questioned. "The promotion?"

Strauss rolled her eyes. "If she meets the requirements for the job she gets it. And if Hotchner and Rossi think she would still be able to do an efficient job at leading our computer team and dating you at the same time, she can have the job."

"Really Strauss?" Penelope squealed finally coming in the office. "Thanks so much! Trust me you will not be disappointed!"

Pen smiled at Derek and he smiled back at her. Then they made their way to Hotch's office.

As soon as they walked into his office Hotch said:"I approve."

"How'd you already know?" Derek asked.

"I know Erin has a soft spot. You just have to find it."

"Yeah under all of her ice." Pen joked.

Derek wrapped his arm around her waist. He was the happiest he had been in a while.

Because sometimes The Hardest Thing turned out not to be that hard at all.

**Sorry if it seemed rushed. But I wanted to get it done! I'm never sure of how much time I have anymore. But I hope you enjoyed my story! :D**


End file.
